Yes, I printed busiess cards, built a website, created a one-sheet, practiced my pitch, booked flights and hotels, kissed my girlfriend goodbye and flew to America... but what's the first thing I did when I got here? I stopped in LA for a nine hour layover, got a SuperShuttle from the airport and went straight to Tito's Tacos! After ten years of paying $20 for one burrito in Sydney I finally got value for money from the best roadside taco stand in LA. F-yeah!
Tacos were followed by a walk in the rain (yes, it rained in LA) from Culver City to Venice Beach, possibly the first time that has ever been done by anyone. I was sure I would get arrested for walking (not J-walking, just walking) but I made it handcuffs-free to my next favourite food joint, Abbot's Pizza. Incredible bagel crusted pizza silces! It was one of the few places on Abbot Kinney Blvd. that hadn't changed in the fifteen years since I'd lived in that hood. Christ, it looks like Bel Air now! Woe is me!
So I had only been in America for four hours and already I had gained five pounds and blocked my arteries. Americaaaa! I am now sufficiently naturalized and ready to attend the Las Vegas Film Festival.